Gavin's Definitive Karaoke Rules:
1. Do not hog the mic. Try to sing a number of songs proportionate to how many people are there; if there are three people, you should be singing one-third of the songs. This applies to shy people, too. Don't go to karaoke if you don't want to sing.
2. Pay your way. I don't care how little you sing or how you didn't even want to come out tonight. If you are there for even a minute, you are part of the problem. As soon as you walk in the door, you better be prepared to shell out about $20 for the night.
3. No slow jams. They are buzzkills. (Well okay, a few, but don't go nuts. )
4. Only sing songs that you actually know. We're not here to watch you try and figure out lyrics. Rap is next to impossible to do, so you better have heard it about 10,000 times before you choose it as a karaoke jam.
5. Sing it as the guy. If you do Prince, try to sound like Prince. If you do Springsteen's "I'm on Fire," you better hoarse up your voice so it sounds right.
6. Only one person on the mic at a time. If you want to sing along, do it without a mic. The only time other people are allowed to pick up the mic is during the chorus. This is an especially hard rule to follow during Oasis and U2, but sorry dude, that's why there's rules.
7. Finally, if you are karaokeing in one of those private rooms with a karaoke rig that has a remote control, NEVER utilize the "Delete" button on said remote until you have figured out who chose the song in question and confirmed with them that they will abdicate the song. This exchange will usually take no more than five seconds.
(P.S. Gavin broke rule #7 tonight and Lesley bitch-slapped him! His defense was that "Under The Bridge" is the worst song ever written. Perhaps true, but would it hold up in karaoke court?
